Post by aloraskye on Nov 16, 2005 21:55:57 GMT -5
Well Jenny may have heard this, but I figured I'd post it here and see if anyone got a kick out of it.
So here it is: the infamous oatmeal cookie theory. It came to me after eating WAY to many oatmeal cookies(and thus being on a sugar high) and reeaaaallllly late at night. Yeah, i know, I'm wierd. Anyway, here is my theory on how oatmeal cookies could one day rule the world if evolution were possible:
It all starts with mold. Mold is an important, if not annoying, part of the ecosystem. It helps to get rid of unnecessary natural products like leaves, rotten vegetables, animal waste, road kill, you name it, mold is alllll over it. This includes oatmeal cookies, if left out long enough. So, a few oatmeal cookies fall out of a pack onto the ground, roll under the couch, anywhere where they will be secluded and unobserved. A few years later, the preservatives FINALLY wear out, thus welcoming the mold. Mold soon attaches itself to the oatmeal cookies and thrives in the high-sucrose content.
Mold-like any other thing on earth-spawns new mold. Mold is also alive, and can spawn "new generations". Meaning the mold could actually evolve. So, a couple million years, and the mold that has thrived could actually have bonded with the oatmeal cookie and evolved. Perhaps the oatmeal cookie/mold combo is now capable of simple thoughts/actions. And, in a couple million years, or however long this nutty stuff is supposed to take, assuming that predators will not be interested in the cookie due to the terrible amount of mold, the cookie could actually spawn an army of cookies and become equal and/or superior to humans. If the cookies ever rebel, we'll all be in trouble.
Okay, so it's more likely that the cookie would disintegrate due to the mold than evolve. But then again, according to Darwin's theory of evolution, we started out as goop and RANDOMLY(no, we did not decide to evolve) grow into something as complex as the human body. Well...the odds of a tornado going through a junk yard and creating a brand new shiny car are higher than that.
Yes, I know, it's silly and not worth the time to think about. I'm just weird like that...so...um...yeah... *sweatdrop*
So here it is: the infamous oatmeal cookie theory. It came to me after eating WAY to many oatmeal cookies(and thus being on a sugar high) and reeaaaallllly late at night. Yeah, i know, I'm wierd. Anyway, here is my theory on how oatmeal cookies could one day rule the world if evolution were possible:
It all starts with mold. Mold is an important, if not annoying, part of the ecosystem. It helps to get rid of unnecessary natural products like leaves, rotten vegetables, animal waste, road kill, you name it, mold is alllll over it. This includes oatmeal cookies, if left out long enough. So, a few oatmeal cookies fall out of a pack onto the ground, roll under the couch, anywhere where they will be secluded and unobserved. A few years later, the preservatives FINALLY wear out, thus welcoming the mold. Mold soon attaches itself to the oatmeal cookies and thrives in the high-sucrose content.
Mold-like any other thing on earth-spawns new mold. Mold is also alive, and can spawn "new generations". Meaning the mold could actually evolve. So, a couple million years, and the mold that has thrived could actually have bonded with the oatmeal cookie and evolved. Perhaps the oatmeal cookie/mold combo is now capable of simple thoughts/actions. And, in a couple million years, or however long this nutty stuff is supposed to take, assuming that predators will not be interested in the cookie due to the terrible amount of mold, the cookie could actually spawn an army of cookies and become equal and/or superior to humans. If the cookies ever rebel, we'll all be in trouble.
Okay, so it's more likely that the cookie would disintegrate due to the mold than evolve. But then again, according to Darwin's theory of evolution, we started out as goop and RANDOMLY(no, we did not decide to evolve) grow into something as complex as the human body. Well...the odds of a tornado going through a junk yard and creating a brand new shiny car are higher than that.
Yes, I know, it's silly and not worth the time to think about. I'm just weird like that...so...um...yeah... *sweatdrop*
